Unbound.

               I am not a mac n’ cheese girlie, but I can cook a mean mac n’ cheese. Mac n’ cheese is my Thanksgiving specialty dish. It’s what I bring to the table best. What I also bring to the table is procrastination. What can I say, it’s part of who I am. With this being said, I am a “grocery shop the day of” kind of chick. However, last year there was a mad house for some cheese on Thanksgiving. It took three stores to find Gruyere. I stepped up my game this year and decided to be a “day before” kind of chick. It wasn’t good enough.

I have never seen people fight over cheese like I have on Thanksgiving. Not just any cheese, Gruyere cheese to be exact. Gruyere is like a dairy block of gold around thanksgiving in the south.  

In Walmart, there was a line waiting around the specialty cheese aisle and people were blocking cheese. I went for a block of cheese, but I didn’t know I was about to be blocked from cheese. I mean a 70” flat screen on discount, I am right there with you, sis. But cheese? Well good golly, Ms. Dolly.

I sit here very ashamed to type this. When it was my turn at the specialty cheese aisle, I instantly forgot that I knew absolutely nothing about football. I became a linebacker. All I knew was this cheese was mine. Little to no surprise, Gruyere was sold out at Walmart. We then proceeded to Publix. I regret to inform that my aggression remained. I had never experienced this before. Before the truck was in complete park, my door flew open. I jumped out and began yelling at Hunter as we passed a lady, “Hurry! I seen that girl buying my recipe at Walmart. She just got some Gruyere! We must hurry!” I dragged Hunter quickly for this cheese. When someone he knew yelled hey to him, we didn’t even glance. There was no time.

We got inside Publix, as it was still a madhouse. I ran, yes ran, through the store to the deli where I found the specialty cheese aisle. As packed as it was, everyone was peacefully shopping there except me. I walk upon a man and woman who were taking their time in the cheese. My foot began tapping, I was chewing my nails down to the core, and impatiently waiting. I waited for a few minutes (honestly like thirty seconds… but it felt like forever). I saw more people coming towards the cheese. I barged through them and snagged the last of Gruyere (what I needed for my recipe). I apologized for shoving through, of course, and they both chuckled (they must have known).  If this was you, I am still so sorry.

               I knew I was a competitive person, but I never pinpointed myself as a competitive cheese-seeker. This year I can honestly say I bring competitiveness to the table as well—quite literally. We calmly leave Publix and get back in the truck. Hunter laughs, “dang you were shoving through people for that cheese. Everyone there was calm, and you were running through the store.” I responded, “Yes it’s really important for my recipe.”

               I am no cheese expert. I do not know what is so fancy about different cheeses. I just know I have a set recipe. I am not a “change it up” girlie; I bring consistency to the table.  However, I am a research girlie. If I don’t know the answer, I find the answer. On my way home, I become curious as to why Gruyere is such a hassle. Why is Gruyere so important?  What does Gruyere bring to the table that other cheeses do not?

 I researched it. It brings a “smooth, even melt. This is crucial for a luscious mac n’ cheese.” The taste is a combination of nutty, slightly sweet, and earthy flavors. Also, the Roman emperor passed away in 161 AD due to indigestion from too much Gruyere.

 All day I have been so curious about Gruyere.  The question “what does Gruyere bring to the table that other cheeses do not?” has been running rapid throughout my mind. Usually, when I have an all-consuming thought, I release it through pen and paper. But cheese? Okay, yes, I blocked cheese—but write about cheese? That’s a new one.  

Because it was consuming me, I decided to pray about it. I felt like the Lord was trying to tell me something, but I couldn’t quite grasp it. I released it through prayer and let it go. No more cheese thoughts. I did my usual routine after getting the kids to bed and began reading my Bible.

Tonight’s reading was Luke 7:36-50. To summarize, Jesus was invited to dinner at the house of a Pharisee named Simon, where a woman considered a sinner by the community entered and openly expressed her repentance by washing Jesus’ feet with her tears and hair, anointing them with perfume; Jesus used this situation to teach Simon about forgiveness, highlighting that the woman, despite her past, demonstrated greater love and faith due to the understanding of her own sinfulness, while Simon, who considered himself righteous, lacked humility and gratitude for the grace of God.

I love reading scripture where Jesus ate with others. There is one thing so consistent about dining with the Lord. Jesus broke social norms. He ate with those who were not typically invited to meals. This demonstrated His love for all people. Everyone has always been welcome at God’s table, because every person has something valuable to contribute. Even if it is just their presence and willingness to participate; like the sinful woman in Luke 7:36-50. This woman was extravagant in love bringing to the table all that she had and what was valuable to her.

I genuinely thought I was going to write about my similarity to Gruyere cheese tonight. I am a combination of slightly sweet and nutty.  But, as I read this piece of scripture the question became clear that it was never about the Gruyere cheese. Instead, it was about me; about my relationship with my Lord and Savior.

What are you bringing to the table?

Are you sitting in false righteousness, like Simon, with a “little loves little” persona?  Or are you like the sinful woman who knelt to cleanse Jesus’ feet with her tears? She dried them with her hair while anointing them with perfume. Are you bringing humility, great love, and all that is valuable, resting it at His feet?

As I gather with family tomorrow for Thanksgiving, I will be resting in a new question. I will have an even better response than “mac n’ cheese.” I will forever be reminded of the sinful woman. The humility she brought to the table will stay with me. It will remain as I pull up a seat at the family table. As I take the first bite of green bean casserole, I will forever be thankful for a Savior whose love is steadfast. A Savior who left the 99 to save a sinner like me. The Savior who accepts all that I have of value, big or small. A Savior who breaks social norms to show His love for all. A Savior who saves an empty seat at His table so that one day I dine with Him eternally.